Tribute to THE BLUE FLAME

meet the editors of the Blue Flame

carla, tasha, ria

kv, carmela, pam, cesca and kristle

the blue flame was one of the labor of love in which our batch of eds really poured for the very best publication for the student body. love em especially my kada pam and carms. wouldn’t be the same without them. the thing about me is even though I seem like a slacker laying awake till dawn, I perfectly know what I’m doing and that I am capable to keep up with my priorities… and I have no problems.

Fictional Story

Hi, I was checking a portion of my site and saw a story that I wrote about graduation. It isn’t a true story but I wrote it back then with similar feelings about life, friendship and leaving a mark:

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

Graduation Day

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

                           Ten months had passed, about 300 students are taking turns for their moment to shine. Finally, he who was considered class clown who’s worthy of nothing would take this turning point of his life. And she, who had only cared for the next party, had proved to make it this far. Given 5 seconds until one has finally get to hold his diploma then take another 5 seconds to bow at all these people. Teary eyed as these students could only face higher at every strict teacher who had made their lives miserable with dumped home works and projects. These are the same teachers who had pointed them to the welcoming halls of the detention room. These same teachers whom each student had a moment spent to have an idle banter on the halls. Whether it was for a good laugh or a word of warning- each of us could only smile at these people and then glance at the audience that contained a sea of faces who will forever be engraved in our hearts. We can only swallow a few gulps thinking this is no longer an impromptu speech moment where our legs had shiver beneath our pants. These are no longer the moments in which these teachers had control of our actions. From here on, things were up to us- from where to go and what to do. We now had finally defeated the challenges within these halls, but what comes after we walk off this stage? And will things ever be the same after today? 

                           Each person had a story. Within a school year, before things had got as serious as college, no one left the halls without a memory of having to pull a teacher’s hair or plotting a humiliation on class. Not one had a boring moment by the window as a Chemistry teacher talked about molecules and neurotransmitters. Not one had escaped the stories of heartaches that had spread like a virus from classrooms to faculty rooms. Not one had passed the feel of a triumph or loss of a football game.

                           We had our times. We had counted and recounted friends that could be compared to a balloon which, one day, would inflate or fly away. But some, well kept, remains within us like a miracle. They give us our reasons to get up every dreadful day. They are the light that radiates a curve on our face. And no matter how terrible life seems to be, they had been there all along. They had been with us in our journey. And until the final day comes that we had to bid goodbye, I can only hide a few tears for all the times that we’d someday miss. I can only look back at the highlights of high school as a cheerful year. Sad to know that there’s no going back from here. As I take hold of this diploma, I would’ve chosen to set it free and take the spirited years of high school once again. But I know you wouldn’t be there to share it with me no more. I know I am also in need to be pushed out the door, to take my own life into a new direction. Goodbye to this old road that I used to take. To the lunch boxes that turned into high allowances spent for Saturday nights and dates. Goodbye to the faces that I’ve known by face or by heart. Goodbye to the sound of locker after every game, to the rustle of trees while waiting for my friends, to the everyday cheers and chuckles on halls… I could only walk alone to every door that finally shuts behind me. I could only move forth the light that lies in front of me. I can only be beckoned by this new chapter that I have, from the start of high school, wished to be. Now, I hesitated a bit, still afraid and unsure of what I was leaving. It will be more than tapestry of memories. It will be more than stories vandalized on toilet walls, more than scribbles on classroom tables and more than the unknown meaning of a whisper from behind the room. I took a last look at how things were left and readied myself to a bigger battle. It was a bigger risk to take and I had no one yet to help me take the first step. It wouldn’t be just mere conflicts about what to do in a bored subject or what gig to watch. It wouldn’t be just the squabbles about what food to order and who the prom queen should be. It is no longer about the shiniest lip-gloss or the finest hair. It’s more than everything else that I have compiled for the whole 4 years in high school. One thing I know, this chapter that I’d be leaving would contain a bookmark in which I could always go back to. And someday, I’d be able to smile at the things that I could only cry at during Graduation Day.

——————

when i read this story, it hits straight to the point that I could really smile about the memory of my high school graduation. I am now in college. I will soon graduate, too and I might write another fictional story of how I viewed my years in De La Salle University.

~*Teenageheart*~

these are poems that can be found in my site http://teenageheart.cjb.net/ I wrote those years ago. Anyway, I just want to share some of my works (bdw, I love pinoy big brother, I try to watch it everyday. but my favorite was evicted!):

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Torn by my heart and mind,
is it really right to let you go?
Now I’m alone on a crumpled bed,
where my heart says stop
and my mind says go.

I move while my other feet halts.
I touch while my senses hold me back.
I speak while only incoherence utter.
I stumbled while being dragged.
I tried while I fear and stop.

As roses and freshly new paint is what I miss,
new gardens call from far away.
To move on with reality,
to bury this but not deep inside me.
I needed to be free from my need of water.

For you are not the only happiness that lies beneath me.
For you are not the only breath that I can’t live without.
I wanted to think that it’s not over, that this too shall pass.
But for now I am stuck with myself and me-
where half my mind moves forward

and half of it is asleep,
where half my heart aches for you
and the other is falling deep.
I move on half in reality,
while my other lost in delusions.

I feel my heart is only half composed,
I feel my life has half departed.
I feel how half the world ceases to exist
and I feel how half of me crumbled on my feet.
I feel I’m looking from half an eye,

and the other has shut itself from the world.
I feel like half of me froze with time,
and the other is lost with the rushing world.
It is all-hard, it is all half real.
From the eyes of a broken hearted,

I’m sick of all things made half,
I’m sick of being incomplete…

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Do you know that I’ve held on
Your last goodbye,
Unknowingly absence was there
To give my heart a try.

And days had past
Into momentous years
When was the last time
I didn’t dry some tears?

Secret pains
I’ve built with in
Afraid of what
Goodbyes truly mean

Finally your words
Started to make sense to me
"Goodbyes" are like windows
To what I don’t see

The smiles and short
Togetherness,
And how a "goodbye"
Had such lastingness

Why didn’t I see through
The things
That had once soared
My broken wings

Maybe what we had
Was just enough
For me to learn
To ponder and laugh

To move on
From an illusion
And for my heart
To find a solution

Maybe "goodbye" is an
Open door
To give way
To the unswept floor

For something new
To polish my dreams,
To build new castles
On untamed streams…

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

How did it all began?
I wondered
And I fall dreaming again.

To dream of you
Is like the blowing of winds
To the vines and lair

I dreamt of dreams
That could lift my soul.

To fall in my dreams
Is like being absorbed
By your own remains.

The remains of your breath
heart
And soul.

I dream until I become a part of you
Even just in my thoughts
I become the look in your eyes.
I become the beating of your heart,
Then, the breath to your soul…

And you’ll need me as much as I need you
Until my soul finds you
I shall know how,
Why and where it all began.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Purple sky
Resting above
Glinting
As I rest on the ground
Loving the way
The gulls soar above
Like a river flow
Or a hush with no sound.
Purple sky
Turning to gray
Still I Stayed
Loving the way
The day died
Into a dark hue-
The colors of love
I have for you …