A Year that I Leave Behind: 2007

I am here to permanently dispose all my grievances to the world. I am giving away the lost path to
solitude, my barren nature and temperamental self. I am giving up my behavior that has come to hurt other people even though it was never of my intention to do so.

I
offer my heartfelt understanding towards love, life and people who have either hurt me
whether with intentions or by accident. By nature or by mouth. By
actions or by the lack of it.

I am in complete disposal of all
emotional baggage, burdensome load and unnecessary stuffs that hold me
accountable for being a wreck. I am leaving no tarts and bits of it in
my soul that are only excess and useless to have. I am leaving the
pieces and fill in the holes with renewed purpose. I am aiding my self
from all that have been thrown at me even by earthly means or unfathomable
nuisances. I am helping myself set forth a clean footing for a new year
of fresh start.

I am in complete control of "letting go" while
cherishing and accepting that that is all there is and will be for that
time. A new time has come for new start, new songs to be sung, new
friends to create kindling with, new lessons to learn from, new
outcomes from unexpected circumstances, new stories that will unfold…

With
new start comes a new self, new beginning, new resolutions. I would use it for the full capacity of my "self". And not taking for granted what I have or failing to appreciate what I had or will ever have. Needless to say, I would be more thankful and showy of my gratitude.

This coming
year of 2008, I desire to  be an enriched individual free from all the stressors, the chains, thorns,
the obstacles, the load, the heaviness, the burden and even the dictates of society or few individuals. I want to come to terms with people who have gone against me. I want to come to terms to people who have been misunderstood or have not get my own side of things. I do not want to neglect relationships whether it is with family or close friends. I do not want to create gaps brought by silence or by the incapability to be silent.

I want to show how much I love them without feeling ashamed of expressing. I want to help people find light. I want to inspire, lead people to believe and have faith. I want to be a voice that comes from a gospel, a messenger of peace and a change that is being waited for.

Patience, trust, love and sincerity. I want to value those highly than any negative reason. That I would be able to overlook through people’s fault and find good in them no matter who they are. That I may never be judgmental or boastful. And be forgiving of those who have judged me wrong.

As I
aspire to become a source of healing in this broken world of ours. May
I be of sample of a renewed self where change is not just a miracle, it
is the solution…

HAPPY NEW YEAR !! May you have a blessed, beautiful start of 2008

Matthew Chapter 5 Verse 1 - 48

1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

 

2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

 

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 

4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

 

6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

 

7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

 

8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

 

9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

 

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 

11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

 

12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

 

13 Ye
are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour,
wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but
to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

 

14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

 

15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

 

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

 

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

 

18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

 

19 Whosoever
therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach
men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but
whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

 

20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

 

21 Ye
have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill;
and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:

 

22 But
I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a
cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to
his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

 

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

 

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

 

25 Agree with thine adversary
quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the
adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the
officer, and thou be cast into prison.

 

26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

 

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

 

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 

29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

 

30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

 

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

 

32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

33 Again,
ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt
not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:

 

34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne:

 

35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.

 

36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.

 

37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

 

38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

 

39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

 

40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

 

41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

 

42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

 

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

 

44 But
I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good
to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you;

 

45 That
ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh
his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the
just and on the unjust.

 

46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

 

47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

 

48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

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Crafted Bits of Nothingness Tailored with Love

Unlike all things learned by scientists, predicted by astronomers,written by authors and imagined by artists- there are some things that are unexplainable that even the most common explanation would actually defeat its meaning. This leaves one clinging for answers that comes as comets or stalactites or a wonder. And that forever stays for people who are not extraordinary but has ordinary emotions- for the most part- only contradicting every testimony and belief. There is only an outrage of the shortcoming of a never discovered star, perhaps like a neglected shooting star that we fail to look up to, or a never again seen relic that instead of becoming a treasure- becomes dust.

Unlike all things that people would have thought so, or so they thought they knew everything. For those who had strong convictions, affirmations, beliefs and principle- those who stood up for their own beliefs would find themselves relating to those who are just plainly unlucky and misunderstood by the simplest of all catastrophes.

Unlike all good things that come to an end with a short precaution that it is about to end. There are still some that baffles the wise or the fool. Nevertheless, there is no real predicament, no outcome nor verdict for even the most important of TRIALS on ones life have no jury, no proof or testimony. Sometimes there aren’t even chances- to speak or to know the TRUTH or to fight for it. There is only a decision out of a reflective unjustness that exists. Often, there is only black and white. You win or you lose. And when you win, you might not want what you get. And when you lose, you barely lose anything if you already have nothing left or you lose everything else.

Unlike everything that can be determined by forecast, prepared by precaution, backed by preparation- there are some that only come about with no explanation. Is it the mystery of the grand scheme of things??? That everyone still meets an end no matter in denial or direct intent. Through nature or by accident. Is it the beginning or a locked end?

Unlike things that we find answers, or questions that common sense would comprehend, there are things that can no longer be of capacity for someone. But it doesn’t mean anything. It only means something so abstract as art as if it is a lucid stars that falls and dies a death that no one knows. How does it recover? Does it stand? Does it move on? Or does it move away?

Unlike the simplest things that some people yearn about, it could be what some would rather forget. It can only be accompanied with deep regret if pondered any longer. But with reflection, it seems like it could be the worst thing next to something anyone wouldn’t wish to happen to them. And if it did- does it rob a man from his richness? Does it take away his ability to be happy? Does it take away anything aside complete nihility- which is nothing?

Unlike NOTHINGNESS, leaving complete nothingness doesn’t leave anything… Is it emptiness beforehand? Or emptiness afterhand? Tattered bits of nothingness tailored with love- is love more of an art or a game? A way of life? Or like a ship wreck amidst islands that will never be seen, amidst whereabouts no one would hear the ghostsly imprints nor could save it wreck.

Can you actually wear a crafted bits of nothingness and become it? Could you actually find it in your self before knowing that it can kill? … Or is it just emo??